I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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