I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
