Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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