the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
