He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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