sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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