it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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