my soul wont recognize me after tonight
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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