Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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