I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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