woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
