NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I did not marry a roomba.
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