im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
God I need to hump something, right now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
