I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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