you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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