My hand turned me down
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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