I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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