Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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