:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
