I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
vagina is talking i cant
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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