something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
