They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You're like the curious george of whores
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
