he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize