So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
