Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you traded sex for a burrito?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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