I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
