Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
