So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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