since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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