Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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