I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
