Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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