she was so not down for the gang bang
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
