I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
