Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
