i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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