we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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