meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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