A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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