Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize