I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
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the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
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he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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