there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
