google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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