im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.