Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
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He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
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I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?