Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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