he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
