i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
