I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
