You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
