i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
