I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
