Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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