i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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