Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize