Kiss
Puke
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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