we're blogging at a bar
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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