Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
