Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
